Napoleon: 1996-2008, RIP

Today is a sad, sad day. Napoleon had been fighting diabetes but also had a condition called Cushing's Disease which is a malfunction of the pituitary gland in the brain causing the adrenal gland to produce way too much cortisol. Cortisol feels great in arthritic dogs but in diabetic dogs it makes them not be able to process insulin. It's like standing in front of a giant feast with your lips sewn shut. His body wanted terribly to use the insulin but it couldn't absorb it. So, went from a pudgy dog of 27 pounds to an emaciated 18 pounds in a matter of months. Several thousand dollars later we found the Cushing's, tried to find a way to treat it, but it wasn't going to happen. It would have taken weekly testing at the vet at around $1000 a week for weeks on end to see if we could shut down his adrenal gland and even if we put him thru all that there's a good chance he'd either not have gotten better, got better but suffered from severe arthritis that was masked by the Cushing's, or he'd die of old age shortly after getting better.

After watching Naps suffer thru just walking, etc. and having him pee literally like a gallon of urine on one of the kids' beds we knew we were only keeping him alive for our sake. We made the painful but responsible and humane decision yesterday that we should euthanize him. The Humane Society was able to give us an afternoon appointment today. Napoleon was my dog for about two years before Grant and I moved in together so I felt it should be my burden to bear. Grant stayed home with the boys and helped Logan come to understand (kinda) what was happening and grieved with him. I was fine till I was about 10 blocks away from the center and then my neck turned beet red, my face flushed, and I fought panic attacks. Luckily my buddy Mark was talking me down via texting (yeah, yeah, don't text and drive, I know). Naps also provided some comic relief by farting multiple times on the way there.

When I got there I took him in and waited for someone to help me. The lady was kind and took my info, had me sign papers and signed me up for the "Paws to Remember" simplicity package where they will cremate him and give us all of his ashes in a lovely wooden box that we'll likely bury in the backyard. She took me to show me what the box will look like and where I can pick him up in a week and I could no longer hold my composure. I cried and then she took him from me after one more good set of loving and petting. I lost it as I walked out. I was sobbing to the car and screaching/wailing/sobbing for the first five minutes of my drive home. Mom's cell was off so I drove to her house because it was a moment that I 'needed my mommy'. Being there calmed me and I know she's been thru this too so it was very comforting. I left there in a much more peaceful state and went home to be with my boys.

Grant has shed his share of tears today too and we both feel so blessed to have such great kids because they've never behaved better than they did today. They must've sensed it or something but they were 100% angels. Logan was even extra nice to Connor. He's always a good brother but he did things like handover toys he wanted, offered him his half of their banana, etc. He suggested we have a picnic in the living room for dinner. It was like he knew we needed a little silly so we spread out a blanket on the floor and ate dinner in the living room together, it was a lovely end to a difficult day.

In honor of my Nappers, here's a top ten of my favorite memories of him (in no particular order):

1. When I first brought him home from the shelter I had planned on teaching him to sleep in a dog bed and not with me. I put him in the kitchen with a bed and put a gate up. I checked on him about 20 minutes later and his under eye area was damp with tears and he looked so sad so he slept with me every night from that moment on.


2. Before we had kids he was a "grandbaby" to Grant's mom and we would say, "Want to go to Granny Annie's?" and he'd go crazy. He'd wag his whole butt instead of his tail and go to the garage door.


3. When we brought Logan home from the hospital he stood guard by the basinette for hours.


4. If there was a bug on the floor in my apartment I'd shriek "EEeeek, get it Naps!" and he'd eat it for me.


5. Grant used to have to run him for me sometimes to get him to poop when I first got him. He'd always pee outside but would not poop and if Grant ran him up and down the street, he'd stop and poop.


6. When I lived with my mom and uncle for a few months between my apartment lease ending and Grant's ending before we moved in together he once ate half of a giant locust and brought the other half to Gene who was not amused.


7. He used to like to wear my pants. I'm not joking. For several months if I missed the hamper and there were pants or panties on the ground he'd find a way to get in the leg. Once he got stuck in the leg of some jeans and needed help out.


8. He didn't like men when I got him, we think his first home was abusive, but he loved Grant from the get go.


9. He had a very long, narrow tongue and if you weren't careful you'd catch him with his tongue down the neck of your beer bottle, he loved beer.


10. He was a very wonderful, sweet, loyal companion and he'll be missed for years to come.

Bow wow my little sausage, bow wow.